Photo via this article, which I did not write.
Tina and Amy. Could it get any better?
Who looks hotter? They both look really great. But, why the red/green combo pack? Too Christmas for me.
Their hair is good. Really good.
Wow. Everyone’s hair looks good.
The chick from Bridesmaids is pissed she’s not hosting.
Jody Foster rocks the bob.
The girl from Girls needs her teeth done. And whitened. And done again.
Ben Afflack. So good. I mean that in a dirty way. Love the way he rocks some old school New Balance. Not tonight. In US Magazine.
Jennifer Lawrence. She looks like my sweet sister-in-law. And a cute blonde I know with the initials JW. (right? anyone?)
I was expecting more singing from these two. An opening number, maybe? Is that the Oscars?
Is that Daniel Day Lewis? Louis? I have no clue.
I really wish I was there in that room right now. All those celebs squeezed in together like they’re at wedding? Pretending like they all haven’t slept with each other? I love it.
Kate Hudson. Should have put her hair up with that neckline.
Leo never ages, does he? Although, I like him way better now that I’m nearly in my early-mid 30s. (ahem.)
I spy Tammy Taylor.
Who doesn’t want to thank Jamie Foxx? I mean, really.
OH, Kerry Washington. I have a big crush on her.
There’s a lot of old Hollywood fashion going on here, right? (I haven’t watched the red carpet yet…)
DOWNTON! Maggie Smith! Sad that she wasn’t there.
Michael J. Fox’s kid is cute. He’s like the smart Justin Bieber.
I need to add Hatfield’s and McCoy to my must-watch list.
Political Animals was amazing. You should watch it.
This event sponsored by Monet and Grey Goose.
Is Game Change the one about Sarah Palin?
I love that little short guy who’s up there. Who is that? What was he in? I feel like he plays a good angry short guy.
(I think I’m getting carpel tunnel. That’s annoying.)
Is it weird when there is a whole gang of people up there, but only one guy talks? Is that the right of the Director?
Sienna Miller is aging well.
Dude. Game Change again? I need to watch that too. Sounds like it was an HBO thing?
Catherine Zeta Jones with more old Hollywood. She’s super pretty. Crazy, but pretty.
Les Mis preview. I must see that. Who wants to go with me? Please? SKW? Thursday night?
Don Draper. Yum. Even when he’s not Don Draper. I don’t even know his name in real life. He’s always Don Draper to me.
She’s a cute little president. She’s really wearing that blinged out necklace/vest situation. She looks a bit like my Mema.
Paul Rudd — do prefer his hair long or short? I’m thinking short.
Oh, this is a tough category! All the guys. Homeland, Breaking bad? Mad Men? Dang.
I forgot that he was also in Band of Brothers. And it’s so confusing when he busts out the British accent. Or whatever that may be. I think I prefer him without it.
Kate Hudson likes him. She was giving him the stare.
This is awkward. Selma & Paul. Ouch.
Homeland. For the win.
The Newsroom guys look annoyed. Like they’re the geeks and the football stars just got all the praise for winning. Again.
Claire Danes looks amazing. I adore her. My So Called Life & Jordan Catalano 4Life.
Do you think Jared Leto is there? Do you think he’ll sing that Ramones song? Gosh, I loved that episode.
(We’re only 42 minutes in. I hope you got some coffee before reading this.)
Oh goodness. Nobody is listening to this guy who’s talking about Argo.
Oh wow. This movie looks really good. Are these movies out in theaters?
A lot of girls wearing the side-swept curls tonight. J.Lo is wearing them well. Pretty pretty.
Oh, that guys she’s with. I love him in movies. Josh does too. He’s the Transporter. The guy who drives Audis really fast.
I don’t even know who won. Life of Pi? Fantastic book. It’s deep. Deeper than you’d expect considering it’s a book about a tiger stuck in a lifeboat.
His wife is gorg in that pink sari.
J.Lo is J.Shiny. That’s unusual for her. She’s usually flawless.
Music and lyrics by Jon Bon Jovi? I’m watching that. (my brother bobby just puked in his mouth a little.)
I feel like I need the Hunger Games soundtrack. Does anyone have it? And like it? Tell me. (more puking in the mouth by bobby.)
Adele is so tall. She dresses so lovely for her body. And she’s hilarious. Finally, someone is drunk on this show. Also, I think I’ll start calling my fellow moms “mums” instead. I like that. Be prepared, friends.
More side-swept curls! Jessica Alba. Not caring for her dress though. My husband thinks she’s hot. Maybe I’m just bitter. Maybe.
Kevin Costner looks very nice. Didn’t he go through a rough spot there for a while? One where he wore earrings? He looks good tonight. Age appropriate. Heartfelt speech, Kevin. It’s sweet.
BILL CLINTON? Seriously? Nice work, Golden Globes. Who did he just give a thumbs up to?
Did you see Salmon Fishing in the Yemen? It’s super good. Total chick-flick. Not really about fishing. Or Yemen.
Wait… Is the Hunger Games chick and Bradley Cooper a thing? Are they married? Or are they just sitting together?
Oh! She won! And they smooched!
Did she just diss Meryl Streep?
Oh no. Ugly cry. Don’t do it.
Kristen Bell’s dress. NO. NO. NO. She’s too short to pull that off. Is she pregnant? I guess it’s okay then…
Jamie Foxx. He is totally Oprah’s secret husband. Right? Pretty sure they have a 50 Shades of Grey thing going on. Except that Oprah is Christian Grey.
Jamie Foxx followed by Megan Fox.
Anne wins. She’s so dramatic. It’s kinda unbelievable now. She should just get up there and say BAM. I TOTALLY DESERVE THIS. We’d all clap for that.
New rule: No crying at the Golden Globes. Save it for the Oscars.
I’m sorry, but I can’t help myself. Robert Pattinson. STOP IT. I’m blushing just watching him stand there. Although, again. I think I prefer these guys without their accents. Is that normal?
Quentin Tarantino’s skin looks great. I bet he uses a Clarisonic.
Who is the girl in the front row wearing the purple dress? I want to see that dress better! But, she does look bored.
Arnold & Sylvester? Was he really the Governor of California once? Did that happen? Boy, that’s a lot of thick neck up there. Those shirts must be custom-made.
Claire Danes deserves to win on hair alone. She’s coming across a little crazy tonight. Maybe she’s still in character.
Matt Lauer is there? Was he wearing a bracelet? I hear he wears bracelets.
Do you think Bill and Guiliana are there? Speaking of man-jewelry? I love them.
That show Girls is great.
Is that what Glenn Close thinks being drunk looks like?
OH. That Taylor Swift/Michael J. Fox son comment was BAD. And by bad, I mean SO GOOD.
My neighbor kinda looks like Jodie Foster. Both bad-asses, FYI.
I love all of the bad Jodie Foster movies. Like Panic Room. And Contact.
Anne Hathaway is crying. Again. Shocker.
Do you think Steven Spielberg has those little glasses custom-made? They are so perfectly tiny.
Loved Ben’s smooch on Jen. That was cute. They clean up well.
Ben thinks that he’s still 20 years old and up there for Good Will Hunting. You’ve made it, Ben. You’re one of the big guys now.
I could have really used more Tina and Amy in this show.
GIRLS! Another win! Paul Rudd is not impressed. The girls from Girls need to learn to get to the stage quicker. They’ll be better at it next year. Where is the other girl from Girls?
Cute moment with Jack Black and his mama.
Jimmy Fallon thinks she’s hilarious.
Sometimes watching these awards shows is just me going “Wait, he’s still alive?” Repeat about 10 times.
I like that Jennifer Garner is adding a few extra thank yous for her husband. Good teamwork.
You know what show I miss? Alias.
WAIT! My recording stopped right at Julia Roberts! Well, I suppose that’s a good way to end it, right?