I was out with the flu/food poisoning/something that made me puke my guts out all night long at the end of last week and it took me out, hardcore. It’s not often that I’m so sick that I have to stay in bed, can’t just plow through it. I mean, moms don’t actually get sick days, right?
1. Something you should not do: Accidentally turn ON another burner, instead of turning OFF the one you were using to make some tea. Thank goodness I left the light on in the kitchen — I think that I was about five-minutes from catching the house on fire. The good news is that the girls did wake up when the smoke alarm was blaring. My sleeps-like-a-log husband? Not so much. Until I burst in the bedroom and started hollering at him to wake up. This is all mid-puking, mind you.
2. Kids can, indeed, eat Girl Scout Cookies for breakfast and survive.
3. Eating a Girl Scout Cookie is a great way to see if you still need to puke.
4. The upside to not letting your kids watch shows like Sponge Bob, besides the obvious reasons, is that when you’re sick, you can put it on the TV and they are memorized for at least eight-hours. Straight.
5. Taking a shower always seems like a great idea. Until you’re in the shower.
6. Driving your daughter to school in your nightgown, over an hour late, is perfectly acceptable. Telling her to put “sick mom” on the late sheet in the office is also perfectly acceptable.
6. There’s nothing better than seeing your husband walk in the door early from work when you’re sick. Nothing at all.
7. Having the flu is a nice reminder of why you should clean your toilets regularly. Don’t put it off until tomorrow. You never know when you’re going to suddenly have your head in the bowl.
8. Your caffeine addiction becomes very evident as soon as you can’t hold down any coffee. That results in a headache that makes you wish you’d just downed the coffee because throwing up is short-term, but those caffeine headaches last forever.
9. While getting sick isn’t fun, having an excuse to stay in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle is kind of fantastic.
10. The kids were so well behaved while I was sick. Granted, Josh had given them “a talk” before he left for work… and likely bribed them with gobs of candy, but those sweet little things didn’t just get along while I was sick, but they took care of me too. Maybe I should be “sick” more often… Like, once a week.