Pictured: Pretty hair for the school gala, practicing his balance bike, janie sharing her brother and sister in class, meg meets bowling, ev turns three, breakfast at starbucks, sick day playing, our first wedding in ages…
Um, hi there. Remember me?
Sorry to disappear on you like that. In the past few weeks, we’ve had the stomach flu, pink eye, ear infections, fevers, coughs, diarrhea, sinus infections and I don’t even know what else because I stopped keeping track. Every time I thought that we were on the mend, a new symptom would appear from a new child.
I don’t dare write that we’re feeling better, because the universe reads this blog and I don’t want her to think that I’m getting smug about our good health the past couple of days.
There were some things that I was dying to chat with you about in the past few weeks, so let’s get caught up before I get back to my long work to-do list…
I had to consider if I would watch a Jonas Brothers sex tape.
Apparently there are rumors of a Joe Jonas sex tape. I’m not really sure why we’re calling them “sex tapes” anymore, because I’m certain that tapes no longer exist. (Are there iPhone apps for DIY sex videos?) One of my favorite bloggers, Linda Sharps, who also writes for The Stir, compared Joe Jonas to Christian Grey, which made me worry that 50 Shades of Whatever nuts all over the country are now sending anthrax (and ball gags) in the mail to the Sharps Family. I mean, the last person on earth I would ever pick to picture as I was reading that “book” was JOE FUCKING JONAS. That being said — I’m totally watching the sex tape.
Women everywhere put on their Lulu pants and stared at their asses in the mirror.
Confession: I don’t own a single piece of Lululemon. That little piece of information probably just lost me 15 readers, not counting my loyal Canadian fans who are pretty sure that Lululemon is the second coming of Alanis Morisette (What? I can’t think of any famous Canadians.). I love that women are just now realizing that their workout pants are see-through, while all of the guys are going, “Um, yeah. We’ve known for years. Thanks a lot for ruining our fun.” My fellow allParenting writer, Sherri Kuhn breaks it all down for us with 5 Reasons not to return your Lululemon yoga pants.
The sunglasses I’ve owned since 2004 finally broke.
I’m picky about sunglasses. Like, in such a way that I haven’t bought a new pair in nearly 10-years. That isn’t completely true. I’ve had three other pairs. All from Anthropologie and all that broke in an instant. I suppose it’s time to jump into this century and buy a pair of RayBans like the rest of Seattle’s early-30s-still-think-I’m-in-my-20s crowd, but I’m feeling hesitant. So, instead, before I headed out on a walk this morning, I glued the broken arm back on my 2004-editions. Done.
A pair of shoes made me speechless.
While I was at Nordstrom last week, torturing myself about what to spend my birthday gift certificates on (guess I should have bought sunglasses, huh?), the guy in the Salon shoes department (AKA, the fancy pants shoes), told me that their number one selling shoe was THESE. Apparently they sell over 200 units a month of this shoe (which he probably shouldn’t have shared with me and is probably in Nordstrom jail for doing so). My mouth was on the floor. Not only because I couldn’t believe that THIS was the most popular shoe at my beloved Nordstrom, but also because he brought me my size and thought that I would like them. Just because a girl wants a pair of white leather Tory Burch flip-flops, that does not, DOES NOT mean that she wants to take a nosedive into toe cap ballet flats WITH A BUCKLE.
Tell me, what have you been up to?